To this day, I vividly remember what fuelled my eating disorder. It started with a New Year’s resolution to lose weight, eat healthy and get fit. Even now, being recovered, December and January are the prime time of year for my eating disorder voice to re-emerge.
We as humans are made to feel shameful and gluttonous after the festive season. There is constant chatter of ‘bad’ foods, being ‘naughty’ and the need to start a diet on January 1st. Not only do we deserve to celebrate and eat delicious food without a side of crippling anxiety and guilt, but our bodies are actually really great at regulating our weight without new diets and exercise plans.
“A person with an eating disorder has a lot of noise in their head, that’s a good starting point. And gatherings are noisy and busy and very much focused around food and connection, but the noise and busyness and discussions around food, diets and exercise comments are difficult and triggering for someone with an eating disorder. To support somebody with an eating disorder, it would be the most traumatic and difficult thing I’ve done in my life. To get through that in festive times you really do need the support of everybody around you, and you really do need to censor some of the conversations.”
Keep a close eye on your loved one
As the holiday season comes to an end, it’s very common for lots of us to be having feelings of guilt or shame for enjoying ourselves, and we may be worrying about our diets or weight gain. The first few weeks of January are typically the time for reflecting on the year just gone and setting new goals – which often surround fitness or weight loss.
This means that this time of year can be especially hard for those experiencing an eating disorder. Because of this, it’s important to keep a close eye on your loved one with an eating disorder over the first few weeks of January, to make sure they are safe and supported.
Pressured into setting unhealthy, unrealistic goals
Not only are those with eating disorders fighting their eating disorder and its loud voice at this time of year, but they are constantly surrounded by other people making new year’s resolutions, as well as relentless advertising. The health and wellness industry preys on people’s insecurities over the January period, deliberately making people feel guilt and shame after the holiday season. Unfortunately, those with an eating disorder are even more susceptible to be pressured into punishing themselves and setting unrealistic, unhealthy goals.
Over this period, it is important to watch out for any changes in your loved ones’ eating or exercise patterns. It is likely they may be tempted to begin a new diet, restrict to ‘compensate’ for the holiday celebrations, or attempt to ‘cleanse/detox’. Instead, you can encourage your loved one to ditch the idea of new year’s resolutions (resolutions can demand perfectionism – a dangerous trend for those with an eating disorder), because fighting an eating disorder is a full-time job in itself.
Let's make some realistic resolutions!
Help your loved one to set REALISTIC resolutions completely unrelated to body and food. These could be centred around them being kind to themselves, listening to their body, self-care, gratitude or simply just continuing to fight their eating disorder.
Another thing that may be helpful is helping them to lessen their exposure to social media over January. This is where lots of health/fitness/body comparison occurs as others are likely to share their resolutions, as well as it being the prime platform for the wellness industry to advertise to those who are most vulnerable.
Some ideas for new year’s resolutions for those with an eating disorder:
- Listen to my body, provide it with nourishment, rest and movement* that makes it feel good
(*if appropriate) - Throw out/donate my clothes that no longer fit and buy new ones that fit comfortably
- Know that I am worthy and allowed to take up space
- Cut down on social media use or unfollow/get rid of any unhelpful/triggering accounts and content and follow more ED dietitians, psychologists and recovery advocates
- Practice meditation
- Start a gratitude journal
- Continue my treatment/seeing my team
Starting off the New Year with these realistic expectations and self awareness will help your loved one not only recover from the holiday season, but also from their eating disorder.
