Navigating Life as a Carer When Your Loved One Transitions into Adulthood

Eating disorders can affect individuals of all ages, backgrounds, and socio-economic groups. However, research consistently shows that adolescence is a particularly vulnerable period for developing an eating disorder.

Recovery from an eating disorder is often a long journey. On average, it takes between one and six years for someone to recover after beginning treatment. But behind these statistics are real families living the day-to-day reality of supporting a loved one through illness, sometimes over many years.

While many people do go on to make a full recovery, it’s not unusual for a young person to enter adulthood while still undergoing treatment. For families and carers, this transition from childhood into legal and medical adulthood can be disorienting and emotionally painful.

In this blog, our Fill The Gap Counsellors will offer insights and advice for carers when their loved one is making the important and complex transition to adulthood.

The Cliff Edge: Transitioning from Child to Adult Services

Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAMHS) typically conclude at age 18, although some programs extend support to 25. The handover from CAMHS to Adult Mental Health Services (AMHS) is often described as a “cliff edge”, where the level of support may suddenly change or diminish.

Clinical researcher Becky Appleton uses this term to describe how young people can become vulnerable during this transition, as they shift from a service model that emphasises family involvement and holistic care to one that priorities individual responsibility and confidentiality.

Continuity of care is widely recognised as critical for better outcomes, including fewer hospital admissions and higher satisfaction for both patients and professionals. Yet for young people with eating disorders who are already managing intense emotional, physical, and social changes, the shift to adult services can be destabilising and isolating.

Additional resource:

Becky Appleton – Falling through the gap between CAMHS and AMHS

Letting Go: A Shift in Roles and Rights

Legally, turning 18 signals adulthood, but developmentally, adolescence continues well into the early twenties. The brain’s prefrontal cortex, which governs self-reflection, emotional regulation, and decision-making, isn’t fully developed until around age 25.

For parents and carers, this reality can be emotionally confronting. Suddenly, they may no longer have the right to participate in their child’s treatment without permission, despite the ongoing challenges of the eating disorder. This shift can feel abrupt and painful, especially when families feel their loved one still needs close support.

Additional resource:

Maturation of the adolescent brain

Preparing for the Transition: What You Can Do as a Carer

There is no one-size-fits-all solution to eating disorder recovery, and navigating the transition to adulthood requires flexibility, open communication, and mutual respect.

Here are steps carers can take to support both themselves and their loved one during this time:

Start conversations early. Ideally, healthcare providers should initiate discussions around the transition to adult services well before a young person turns 18. These conversations should include changes to confidentiality, consent, and carer involvement. Research suggests that a minimum of three transition-related discussions can significantly ease the process. If your treatment team hasn’t started this conversation, don’t hesitate to raise it.

Plan collaboratively. Talk with the treatment team about how your role as a carer might evolve as your loved one becomes more independent. Consider life changes like university, employment, or moving out of home. A collaborative plan helps maintain a person-centred approach and ensures continuity of support.

Engage your loved one in open dialogue. Discuss how you would like to stay involved in their care, and ask them what feels right for them. This can strengthen your connection and ensure you’re both on the same page as they take on more responsibility.

Respect boundaries. As difficult as it may be, you may need to accept limitations on your involvement. Your role may shift from hands-on carer to emotional supporter. Offer validation, love, and encouragement, but remember that you can’t do the recovery work for them.
Care for yourself. Your well-being matters, too. Prioritise self-compassion and seek your own support when needed. Taking care of yourself not only models resilience but strengthens your ability to support your loved one in the long term.

Additional Reading:

CEED – Working with emerging adults with eating disorders
Eating Disorders Victoria – Position Paper: Carers, Family, and Supporters of Adults (>18yrs) with an Eating Disorder

Remember: you are not alone, and your presence, no matter how it changes, still matters deeply.

Transitioning from child to adult services can be daunting for everyone involved. But with early preparation, open communication, and the right support, families can adapt and continue to play a meaningful role in their loved one’s recovery.

If you’d like to learn more about supporting your loved one as they transition into adulthood, or explore other strategies to support your loved one’s recovery, Eating Disorders Families Australia (EDFA) offers lived experienced and expert support to assist you and your loved one on the recovery journey.

EDFA’s FREE Online Support Groups offer a safe space for you to connect with other carers of a loved one with an eating disorder Australia-wide.

EDFA’s Fill The Gap counselling service offer free, one-on-one online counselling to support carers in navigating the challenges of caring for a loved one with an eating disorder or disordered eating concerns.

Please contact Administrative Assistant Bailey Wightman on 03 9125 5670 or email bailey.wightman@edfa.org.au if you need support accessing the service.

About Eating Disorders Families Australia

Eating Disorders Families Australia (EDFA) is the only national organisation solely for carers and families of those with an eating disorder. EDFA provides support, EDucation, advocacy, and FREE online counselling services and annual membership. EDFA has a private Facebook forum, providing a safe place for eating disorder carers and family members to share experiences, seek advice and assistance, and find hope.