Eating Disorders and Surgery: A Guide for Carers
When someone you love is living with an eating disorder, life can feel like a constant balancing act. Add surgery, whether planned or unexpected, and it can suddenly feel even more overwhelming. As a carer, it’s completely natural to worry about how your loved one will cope, both physically and emotionally. You might also be wondering how to support them through it all.
You don’t need to have all the answers. Just being there in a steady, informed, and compassionate way can make a huge difference. Here are some key points to help guide you through.
1. Communicate with the Medical Team
If the surgery is planned, try to be involved in pre-op discussions. Encourage your loved one to be honest with the team about their eating disorder, even if it’s not currently active. It’s common to feel ashamed or fear judgment, but the medical staff need the full picture to provide safe care.
For unplanned surgeries, speak with the team if you can. Let them know about the eating disorder and any behaviours they should be aware of, like purging, bingeing, or food restriction.
Share any information that could help them plan more thoughtfully. For example, an early morning surgery can mean fasting happens overnight, which may feel less stressful and triggering. If a weigh-in is necessary, talk about how to do this in the safest and least triggering way.
2. In Hospital
Nutrition plays a big role in recovery, but hospital food can be daunting for someone with an eating disorder. They might feel watched, judged, out of control, or just don’t like the food.
If your loved one has a dietitian, see if they can help create a supportive meal plan for hospital. If not, ask the staff if you can bring in familiar or safe foods (when allowed), or work with them to find small ways to reduce food-related anxiety.
Let the ward staff know about your loved one’s eating disorderhistory to avoid unintentional comments about food, weight, or body image. Your presence can help them feel safer – just listening and being there without pressure goes a long way.
3. After Surgery
After coming home, food preferences and appetite may be affected by the surgery. Have easy-to-eat options ready and talk about what feels manageable for them. Support them in slowly increasing their intake if needed.
Even once the physical recovery is underway, the emotional side continues. Your loved one might say they’re “fine” when they’re feeling anything but. Keep checking in – not just about medication or dressings, but about how they’re really doing.
Encourage ongoing mental health or eating disorder support. Offer to go to appointments or just be there to talk. If they’re low on energy, bring them meals or snacks so eating feels less daunting.
4. Be Aware of Triggers
Recovery often involves rest, changes in appetite, and shifts in weight – all of which can be triggering.
Look out for signs your loved one may be struggling: becoming withdrawn, increased anxiety around food, or obsessing over control or routine. Stay patient, but don’t ignore these signs. A gentle conversation can help keep things from escalating.
5. Look After Yourself Too
Caring for someone through surgery and an eating disorder is intense. It’s okay to feel tired, scared, or unsure. You don’t have to do it all perfectly. Make time to rest, talk to someone you trust, and seek support if you need it.
Being a carer doesn’t mean fixing everything – it means showing up and doing your best. And that’s more than enough.
Book a free counselling appointment with an EDFA counsellor
Caring for a loved one with an eating disorder can be overwhelming and challenging, but you don’t have to do it alone. Our counsellors offer free, online, one-on-one counselling, providing emotional support to carers, ensuring you have the skills and strategies to be an effective part of your loved one’s recovery team.
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EDFA’s Fill The Gap counselling service offer free, one-on-one online counselling to support carers in navigating the challenges of caring for a loved one with an eating disorder or disordered eating concerns.
Please contact Administrative Assistant Bailey Wightman on 03 9125 5670 or email bailey.wightman@edfa.org.au if you need support accessing the service.
About Eating Disorders Families Australia
Eating Disorders Families Australia (EDFA) is the only national organisation solely for carers and families of those with an eating disorder. EDFA provides support, EDucation, advocacy, and FREE online counselling services and annual membership. EDFA has a private Facebook forum, providing a safe place for eating disorder carers and family members to share experiences, seek advice and assistance, and find hope.