My son was born with an intellectual disability, ASD and ADHD. He didn’t really fit in ‘the box’ and was bullied heavily at school. This is when the eating disorder entered our lives.
He was diagnosed with anorexia and required multiple hospitalisations.. and we required multiple police visits. I’m sure other families going through similar experiences will know the drill.
During a long Covid lockdown, Binge Eating Disorder (BED) snuck into our lives.
We were now dealing with a different kind of challenge.
Caring for my son has impacted me in ways I never imagined. Financially, emotionally, and the breakdown of the family unit.
Everyone in our family has been affected. We no longer see extended family, we’ve experienced marital turmoil, and his siblings have their own mental health issues.
Complexities of co-existing conditions
We have few supports in place due to the complexities of his co-existing conditions. EDFA has helped me feel less alone. It has helped to put down on paper what we have experienced.
This is something I wrote for my son after a conversation with some of the EDFA team.
A letter from me to you
This is us, living RECOVERY. You’ll notice ED (recover-ed) is not a welcome part of my vocabulary any more. As you would never ask a man who has lost his arm “How have you recovered?” because if you lose something you can’t get back, you learn to live in recovery and look to the future, not the idea of what perfect looked like in the past.
From the very beginning we were dealt an uneven hand. We always had to work four times harder to achieve half the “expected” results.
A lack of compassion, understanding and bullying saw our family of four nearly reduced to three… but I could not let this happen and promised until my dying breath to keep you here.
A tsunami hit!!! Originally known as “The Beast”, recently renamed Donald Trump (thanks to an anonymous man on a zoom self help meeting) because it is fake news, full of lies and only has self preservation in mind.
Once we started to resurface years later I realised that there had been no oxygen left to keep any other relationships alive… friends and relatives were now just numbers on my phone. It’s weird, as I feel no emotion, happy or sad about this. It’s just a fact.. and we still have you.
Together with our tiny (less than a handful) village of strong warriors, we build a raft, a safe place. Not always peaceful but full of love and the promise that we would never give up.
I have heard many times “don’t ride the wave with them” but this Mumma Bear was going down with her ship, only to drag you up kicking and screaming to the surface, even if it took my last breath.
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